


throw me in the deep (and watch me drown)

by illusionmist



Series: dystopia [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death of an OC, Established Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, brief sex scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-18 12:16:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10616727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illusionmist/pseuds/illusionmist
Summary: Mingyu’s three faults:First, he trusts Wonwoo.Second, he loves Wonwoo.Third. . .





	1. i .

The doorknob begins to rattle at five minutes past midnight. Wonwoo had been due home at nine.

Solo assignments were the absolute worst. After an incident that nearly got Wonwoo killed, the leader of their division, Seungcheol, stopped letting the duo go out together when they were supposed to be alone, or with someone else. Even as unofficial backup it was forbidden; when one was given an assignment that was to be carried out alone, it meant alone, no exceptions. That meant Mingyu had to stay home or at the base, worrying himself sick as Wonwoo went off with someone else as backup, or vice versa.

Mingyu agreed with the idea at first. The night that Wonwoo almost died was, in his eyes, a shining example of why they should not be allowed to interfere with each other’s assignments. Mingyu had the situation under control, despite the unexpected hurdles. He was told there was one man he needed to kill, but it soon became clear that the information he was given was very incorrect; three other men were protecting their leader, and Mingyu needed to take them all down first. He did so successfully, and was just on his way to the last when Wonwoo came in and Mingyu nearly lost him.

Now his opinion on the new rule has changed. One reason why was probably that he and Wonwoo were now  _ romantically _ involved, a fact that they need to keep somewhat hidden from Seungcheol in fear that he’d ban the two from working together at all. He would likely claim that working together would cause the two to recklessly endanger themselves in the name of love, but it isn’t like they avoided doing that  _ before  _ they were ‘together’, anyway.

The main reason he hated it was because it led to nights like this one, with Mingyu curled up on their shabby couch, waiting for Wonwoo to come home - and fearing he may not at all.

Mingyu doesn't look to the door when he hears it open. He doesn't need to; he knows it's Wonwoo from his footsteps and the sound his jacket makes when he unzips it, and the soft rustle of fabric when he hangs it up. The door shuts quietly, as if Wonwoo is trying not to wake Mingyu up despite knowing there's no way the other could have fallen asleep. He’s careful making his way to the couch.

“You should have been home three hours ago.” The footsteps stop, and there's pressure at the other side of the couch. Mingyu turns his head and there's Wonwoo, sitting just on the edge so he doesn't crush Mingyu’s legs. Mingyu can’t see Wonwoo’s face in the dark, but he knows he’s frowning.

“Yeah. I'm sorry.” Wonwoo replies, “Had to call in backup and we didn't even get the guy. Seungcheol is going to be pissed.” Somewhere in the middle of his explanation, Wonwoo creeps down next to Mingyu, almost hanging onto him so he wouldn't fall off the side. He buries his face into Mingyu’s neck, leaving a gentle kiss there as he whispers another apology. “I'm sorry if I worried you.”

Mingyu hums in reply, wraps his arm around Wonwoo’s torso, squeezing reassuringly, and they lay together in silence for some time. Eventually the arm Mingyu is laying on starts to fall asleep, so he nudges Wonwoo. “Come on, if we don't go to our bed now we never will. I don't want to sleep out here tonight.” He pushes Wonwoo off the edge of the couch, not noticing when his boyfriend winces.

Wonwoo doesn't follow Mingyu to the bedroom. Instead, he stops at the bathroom, shrugging in Mingyu’s direction when he sends Wonwoo a questioning glance. “I just need to wash off, I’ll meet you in a second.”

Mingyu’s first fault is that he trusts Wonwoo blindly.

 

Mingyu’s in bed for maybe a minute when he realizes he needs to use the bathroom. It's not an issue he needs to fix immediately, necessarily, but he’d hate himself a whole lot less in the morning if he didn't put it off right now. Reluctantly, he gets up and trudges across the hall.

He doesn't knock. He and Wonwoo are close enough (he’d sure  _ hope  _ so, at least, considering that they've been dating for 4 months and have been best friends for 5 or 6  _ years _ ) that it shouldn’t be terribly awkward for them to just walk in on each other. The sound of the shower is suspiciously absent, but Mingyu is too tired to care as he swings the door open.

Wonwoo’s head shoots up, his eyes looking somewhat like either those of a child who has been caught taking candy his mom said he was not allowed to have, or a criminal who realizes he’s been caught in the act and now has a gun pointed directly at him.

Their first-aid kit is spread out on the floor, along with their sewing kit. Wonwoo is stitching up a wound. It doesn't look severe; at worst it is half an inch deep and located near his shoulder, so far away from anything vital, but the sight of it still sends an icy chill through Mingyu’s body until it's replaced with red-hot anger.

“I-” Wonwoo starts, ready to defend himself, but Mingyu cuts him off.

“What the  _ fuck _ , Wonwoo?” His tone is biting, each word laced with disappointment and anger and it silences Wonwoo instantly.

“Why wouldn't you tell me? Oh my god, is that  _ glass _ ?”

“I'm sorry.” Wonwoo mutters pathetically.

“Well you  _ should _ be.” Mingyu snaps back, a bit harsher than he intended. Wonwoo hangs his head down, and Mingyu remains silent for a few minutes, now feeling a bit guilty.

He rushes over, though, taking a better look at the gash. Sure enough, there's a shard of glass, buried in the flesh.

“How the hell did that even get there?” Mingyu asks, squeezing at the gash in a kinda dumb attempt to get it out. Wonwoo bites his lip, whimpering in pain.

“The guy didn't actually have a proper weapon. He just threw whatever he could at me.” He explains after a pause, after Mingyu begins to stitch the wound closed with faded green thread.

“This isn't even safe.  _ Really _ , Wonwoo? A sewing needle and thread? Jisoo would have a cow over this.” Mingyu scolds.

“Can you stop yelling at me, please. This is exactly why I didn't tell you.”

That effectively gets Mingyu to shut up until he finishes stitching and bandaging up the wound to the best of his abilities. Wonwoo manages to keep his whining to a minimum as the needle enters and exits his skin, knowing that if he complained Mingyu would just tell him to be quiet because  _ you did this to yourself, Wonwoo _ .

“We’re seeing Jisoo tomorrow.” Mingyu finally says as he’s tying the ace bandage around Wonwoo’s arm, tight enough to hold the gauze in place but not so tight that it would cut off circulation. Despite his current feeling betrayal and anger, he's taking great care with Wonwoo, and without thinking Mingyu tenderly strokes his hair before realizing, jerking his hand away and getting up.

Wonwoo doesn't answer because it was very clearly  _ not  _ phrased as a question, and follows Mingyu silently to their room. 

 

“Mingyu?”

“ _ What _ ?” Mingyu is practically hanging off the edge of the bed, his back facing Wonwoo. It's clear he’s going to be pissed off until the morning, maybe even after that, but Wonwoo tries anyway, inching over so that he's just close enough to reach his hand over and place his hand on Mingyu’s arm. Mingyu sighs, but doesn't pull away. “I said,  _ what  _ do you want?” If he intended to sound harsh, he almost failed, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence. He clears his throat in an attempt to cover it up, but it's too late. Wonwoo noticed.

“Are you okay?”

“No. Tell me why the fuck I would be, Jeon Wonwoo.” He snaps miserably, hugging the pillow in front of him. He shouldn't really be this miserable, it's not like Wonwoo almost  _ died  _ again or anything, but he’s tired and frustrated and suddenly everything is crashing around him and he’s crying, big fat tears welling in his eyes and falling down his cheeks. He hears Wonwoo’s breath hitch from behind him, and then there’s a strong arm wrapping around his torso, turning him over.

Mingyu is face-to-face with Wonwoo now, and the concerned frown on his boyfriend’s lips makes Mingyu want to either kiss him or slap him, he's not really sure which. “Why are you crying?” Wonwoo eventually says after a few minutes. Mingyu shakes his head, attempting to push away Wonwoo with a weak hand on his chest. 

“You—you're a  _ dumbass _ , okay?” He rasps out eventually, not stopping to clear his throat before continuing. “You're a  _ dumbass  _ and one of these days you're going to get yourself  _ killed _ and it's going to be because you weren't  _ thinking _ .  _ I hate you _ .”

Wonwoo shuts down when he’s upset, a stony, cold mask replacing whatever emotion he wore previously. Now, the look of concern is gone, and he’s staring blankly ahead at Mingyu. Mingyu doesn't hate Wonwoo. That's quite clear in absolutely everything he does and says that regards the other man, when he’s not a mess, at least, but that doesn't matter now. Words hurt and Mingyu’s words have hurt Wonwoo.

Wonwoo sits up, face still blank. “I'm sorry.” He mutters again, not looking at Mingyu. He stands up, and Mingyu does too, but Wonwoo has beat him to the bedroom door and is closing it in Mingyu’s face. As Mingyu stares ahead, not exactly sure what just happened, he realizes he has two options. One, he can chase after Wonwoo, explaining once he’s caught up that he didn't mean it and he's just upset and worried and  _ really  _ sorry now. Or he can wait here and cry and hope Wonwoo doesn't leave him forever.

Perhaps out of bad judgement, Mingyu does the latter.  
  


Mingyu both falls asleep and wakes up in an empty bed for the first time in what feels like forever, and the realization that Wonwoo still isn't here jolts him up immediately, and without giving himself a minute to properly collect himself or even put on a pair of pants Mingyu is tumbling out of their bedroom and into the rest of their apartment. It's empty, and Mingyu’s heart nearly stops right there. A note attached to the front door catches his eye though, and he walks closer to read it.

Wonwoo’s handwriting is scratched on the note with a purple pen, and when Mingyu is close enough to read it, he can see it says “ _ went to junhui’s _ ” and he sighs out a breath of relief. Junhui lives upstairs, so that means Wonwoo didn't go out walking anywhere dangerous last night, and Mingyu can easily go find him now. The clock says it's 6:30 am, and he probably won't be making many people happy with his early-morning visit.

That thought proves correct when Junhui opens his door several minutes later, hair still messy with sleep and eyes that scream how he's doing everything in his power to  _ not  _ murder Mingyu right there. He opens the door, letting Mingyu inside, and points the the couch wordlessly before disappearing back into his own room. Sure enough, Wonwoo is asleep on the couch with a thin blanket draped over his body, and he looks  _ so peaceful  _ that Mingyu almost doesn't want to wake him up. He still does though, gently shaking him until his eyes begin to flutter open. For a few seconds, he looks confused about where he is and why he’s there, but Mingyu can see the exact moment when the realization hits.

“Good morning.” Wonwoo yawns, before rubbing his neck sheepishly. “Sorry for not coming back last night.” His hair is a tousled mess on top of his head, and Mingyu wants to reach out and smooth it out but Wonwoo beats him to it. 

“It's fine, we can talk about it later.” Mingyu half-smiles and reaches out for Wonwoo’s hand instead, squeezing it. “We’re still seeing Jisoo, though, so you better get your ass dressed and ready before seven.”

 

 

The clinic is located far away from the base; Mingyu assumes as a precautionary measure, but he can't be sure. Luckily, it’s closer to Mingyu and Wonwoo’s place than the base itself, so getting there isn't much of a hassle. Dark clouds hang above the remains of what was once a huge city, and they serve as a stark reminder that peace and sunlight doesn't exist anymore. Not in large quantities, at least.

It's easy for Mingyu to forget what's going on in the real world when he's with Wonwoo. When they're together, he can almost pretend things are the way they were when he was a kid. He doesn't remember it all too well, though; the rebellion started when he was nine, and the following anarchy and then ensuing dictatorship under the false assumption of a government were well in place by the time he was thirteen. Those who didn't die in the initial rebellion and warfare were either killed by the dictator for rebelling or they became obedient, mindless drones. 

Or, like Mingyu and Wonwoo, they joined the underground and risked their lives in hope that one day things will get better

 

* * *

 

Seungcheol’s group became more of a tightknit family than just a vigilante gang throughout the years, which made things easier in some ways and harder in others, but Mingyu didn’t always have such a good group to call home. His first ‘gang’ consisted of a bunch of egoistic, dominance-thirsty teenagers who were more than willing to step over the bodies of their so-called friends if it brought them glory, and they very often put themselves in the way of unnecessary danger because if they survived they were worshipped. Most didn’t. 

Mingyu left that group as soon as he realized it was no good, which luckily didn’t take long. Just in time, too, because Mingyu received word the next week that the gang had been discovered and promptly executed. For months Mingyu wandered aimlessly. 

And then he found Seungcheol.

Technically, Seungcheol found him. Mingyu was working a job for meager pay in a district of the city that had survived the chaos after the plague. He was hardly 16 then, taking on heavy lifting jobs, butchering chickens, delivering things, doing whatever he could to buy the bare minimum of food when Seungcheol found him in a warehouse. At the time he had no idea who this man was, but he seemingly knew the owner, and the two spoke in hushed voices as Mingyu mopped the floors. The two kept glancing his way and Mingyu tried his best to ignore them.

Seungcheol was a man no older than 20 at the time but he looked aged beyond his years, and he casually stepped over to Mingyu as the latter was finishing up his job. 

“You look like a strong young man.” Seungcheol said eventually, grinning down at Mingyu. “Got a family to bring that money home to? Sanghoon over there says you don’t.”

Mingyu clenched his teeth, shaking his head in a simple  _ no _ . Seungcheol nodded somberly. “Don’t worry, kid. Me neither.” 

Mingyu was on his knees then, wringing out the mop over the bucket, so Seungcheol crouched down so they’re at eye level and lowered his voice.

“Look, we both know why we don’t have families anymore. And I’m gonna bet you’re pretty pissed off about it. So, I have an offer.”

And thus Mingyu found himself being dragged to what was once a grocery store. Seungcheol took the time on the walk there to introduce himself: Choi Seungcheol, age 19, and leader of a gang that did not yet have a name or even a clear-cut goal. The only glue that bonded them was a mutual bitterness; they were all orphans, and they wanted revenge.  

When the door to the “headquarters” opened, Mingyu didn’t really know what he expected, but Jeon Wonwoo was certainly not it.

Their reunion was emotional and almost teary-eyed, with both boys rushing over to each other immediately like long lost best friends reunited after many years of not knowing the fate of the other. Probably because that was the exact situation.

Wonwoo and Mingyu _ were _ best friends, that was, until Wonwoo was shipped off to his aunt’s just after his parent’s were killed. Wonwoo’s parents ran a newspaper, and when the new government cracked down on censorship they were some of the first to go. Wonwoo, at the age of 13, experienced the horror of coming home to find both of his parents on the floor, bloody with unbeating hearts.

Mingyu and his family took Wonwoo in, but sooner rather than later they discovered the boy was supposed to be killed along with parents, and the secret police never left a job undone. So, in hopes of saving Wonwoo’s life, Mingyu’s parents sent him off to his distant aunt in the countryside. This disobedience to the system came at a cost, but now Mingyu was left to mourn the deaths of his parents alone. 

So, when two and a half years later they were reunited,they became inseparable almost instantly.

Seungcheol took advantage of the bond between the two, training them to defend themselves and eventually fight together. The transition from a defensive gang to a vigilante group that sought out and assassinated people the police no longer took care of happened almost instantaneously, with a special case sent to Seungcheol one evening. Seungcheol passed it on to what he called his “most trusted pair”, and  Mingyu killed his first criminal when he was 18 years old. Wonwoo followed soon after, and just like that the two were assassins.

By now, Mingyu has ended the lives of maybe ten, maybe twenty, maybe one hundred. He’s stopped keeping track, stopped putting a name to his victims, because killing never really got any easier.

 

* * *

 

“You know, maybe now is a good time to talk. Uh, about last night I mean.” Wonwoo mutters as they’re walking to the clinic. Mingyu hums, sticking his hands deeper into his pockets.

“ I knew you didn’t mean it. With the whole hating me thing, I mean.” Wonwoo starts as they make a turn. The building hiding the clinic is in view now, so Wonwoo doesn’t pause. “I knew you didn’t mean it, I just figured you needed some space. Because I messed up, I really did. I should have told you what happened, and I’m sorry.” Now Wonwoo pauses, looking up at Mingyu expectantly.

“I’m sorry too. I overreacted.” And they leave it at that. There’s no need for any more apologies, and Mingyu’s hand finally leaves the pocket of his jacket to find and firmly grasp Wonwoo’s hand. They are at the door of the clinic now, and Mingyu squeezes Wonwoo’s hand reassuringly. “Guess it’s time for Jisoo to yell at us.” It’s not exactly a joke, because that is exactly what ensues.

 

Their first  _ i love you _ ’s slip out at a pretty inopportune time.

Wonwoo’s hand is wrapped around Mingyu’s dick, and Mingyu is caged under him when he suddenly feels the urge right then to declare just how deeply he feels for Wonwoo. He pulls apart from the kiss so suddenly that Wonwoo looks scared for a split-second, like he fears he did something wrong or hurt Mingyu, but then Mingyu is staring up at him with eyes so intense it smothers any fear.

“I– _ fuck _ –I love you, Wonwoo.” 

Mingyu wants to catch the words again once it leaves his mouth, so he can reuse it at a more romantic time, maybe under the stars or something cheesy like that, and not here in their drab bedroom. But once something has been said, it can't be taken back, and Mingyu now needs to wait for a response. Wonwoo leans down to kiss him, open-mouthed and messily, before smiling.

“I love you, too.” He says it so calmly, his hand not stilling in its movements, that it doesn't even register in Mingyu’s mind at first. When it does, Mingyu jumps so suddenly that Wonwoo’s hand finally does stop, and he looks him over before asking, “What?”

Mingyu stares up at him. “I love you.” He repeats, slower this time. Wonwoo looks confused again.

“I know.” He says cautiously, almost as if he's afraid this is some some weird  _ test.  _ “You said that. I love you too.” The repetition of that phrase produces butterflies deep in Mingyu’s stomach, but at the same time a small rock places itself in the pit of it. He simultaneously feels as if he’s flying but also sinking, and Wonwoo looks so lost that Mingyu knows he owes an explanation.

“We just haven't said that yet, so I was surprised. That's all.” Wonwoo nods slowly, the confusion not disappearing completely. 

“Yeah. We already knew it, though.” He says, but Mingyu shakes his head.

“No, I know, but it's just kinda  _ special  _ I guess and I wanted to save it…” He trails off when Wonwoo begins to chuckle, stroking the side of his face affectionately.

“It's just a word, Mingyu. You don't need to feel guilty about it.” Wonwoo kisses the side of Mingyu’s mouth before kissing his jawline, then his neck, then lower, and lower. Mingyu lets himself get lost in the feeling of Wonwoo’s touch again, but something still nags quietly at the back of his mind.

It's not just a word, not for Mingyu. Love is not just a word, it's a promise and a declaration that holds a lot of weight. Love means sacrifice and loss and protection and endangerment and everything that Mingyu is afraid of, and now that it has been exchanged it hangs over him like a cloud ready to rain down any moment. Because Mingyu loves Wonwoo, he’ll do anything for him. And because Wonwoo loves Mingyu, he’ll do the same. That's what scares him.

Mingyu  _ really _ does love Wonwoo, and that's his second fault.

 

A partner assignment finally comes to them later that month, and Mingyu should feel relieved, even excited that he can work with Wonwoo again. The objective is rather repetitive: There's a murderer, they need to kill her, and hopefully not die themselves in the process. However, this time there _ is _ a catch.

“She is supported by the government. And another vigilante group targeted her before. Their assassin died.” Seungcheol says, eyes not leaving a few loose papers he has spread out in front of him. Mingyu and Wonwoo share a concerned glance.

“What exactly do you mean by  _ support _ ?” Wonwoo says eventually. Seungcheol hums, sticking a finger up in the air in a  _ please wait _ gesture, and after jotting something down on one of the papers he places them all on the desk beside him. His hands rest in his lap as he frowns up at the two.

“They use her as an assassin. That means they provide her with weapons, most likely.”

“Oh.”

“And those weapons are far more advanced than ours. That's why I’m sending out  _ two  _ people. Jeonghan and Soonyoung will be there as backup, but please refrain from calling them unless it is absolutely necessary.” He stands up, handing each of them a slip of paper. “Surprising her is your best bet. You are more discreet in small numbers, and if there are too many people she may call for help and then you'll have a much larger problem.” Seungcheol also does not want to risk losing  _ four _ men, but he doesn't voice that. “You’ll leave as soon as the other two arrive.” And with that, Seungcheol stands up to leave.

While waiting for the backup assassins to arrive, Mingyu and Wonwoo sit side by side on the couch, totally silent. Mingyu peeks at the slip of paper; there’s an address in Seungcheol’s chicken-scratch scrawled out in red ink, and he has a bit of an idea of where it may be. There’s an odd feeling deep in the pit of Mingyu’s stomach, but he simply passes it off as nerves. It has been a long time since he and Wonwoo had a mission together. That has to be what’s causing it. 

Mingyu has managed to to talk himself down by the time Jeonghan and Soonyoung arrive, but as the four walk out Mingyu feels that uneasy feeling return, except this time it is amplified and accompanied by a nearly insuppressible urge to run back in, scream that he’s not going, that something feels horribly wrong.

Instead, he walks on.

 

The building used to be a grand hotel back in the day, with some evidence of that splendor still remaining in the gold trim that looters were unable to take with them when the ransacked the place. That aside, the hotel was a rotting mess, with more windows smashed than not, and a gaping hole in the side, likely result of the building next to it having falling years ago. It doesn’t look at all safe to enter.

“Are you sure this the right place? I doubt anyone could so much as walk in there without the walls collapsing down between them.” Soonyoung voices his concern, to which Wonwoo snorts.

“Shut up, you won’t even be going inside. And yes, I’m sure. Mingyu says he’s been here before.”

“Shouldn’t be.” Soonyoung corrects. “Gotta be prepared for everything. And really? What were you doing at a place like this, guys like you usually went to those cheap motels with shitty continental breakfast and lice in the beds.”

“Hey, shut up, my family was actually well off. And we won a sweepstakes of some sort, if I remember correctly. It doesn’t really matter.” In reality, it did matter and Mingyu knew it. He still had memories, albeit vague, that would help him and Wonwoo navigate their way through the building much easier. Mingyu walks closer to the door, or lack of, really, and turns around to Soonyoung and Jeonghan one last time.

“Anyways, we should be out in an hour, tops. If you hear screams or your buzzer goes off, come save our sorry asses.”   
  
  


The carpet inside is uncomfortably wet and squishy, and Mingyu cringes as he steps on it. What was once the lobby is now a musty, flooded swamp, and the stench of stagnant water and god knows what else burn his nostrils. It’s dark, but some just enough light leaks from the windows to show Mingyu where he is in the building and nothing else. He’s thankful for that; the appearance of once grandeur places left to decay has always felt odd to him, and it made it worse considering this was a place from his childhood. 

“How the  _ hell _ are we supposed to find her in here.” Wonwoo whispers, eyes upward.

“It’s easier than it seems.” Mingyu reassures, nudging Wonwoo so he’s looking at what was once a grand staircase. The entire thing was collapsed down on itself. Nobody was getting upstairs, and the basement had to be flooded so that meant the assassin was down in the lower floor somewhere.

“Check the left wing, I’ll go right.” Mingyu says, and he’s about to walk off when Wonwoo grabs him by the hood of his jacket and pulls him back.

“No, we’re checking together.” He sounds small and scared now, and Mingyu rolls his eyes.

“Aww, is little Wonwoo afraid of ghosts. Don’t worry, the sooner we find and kill her, the sooner we get out of here.” Wonwoo doesn’t look convinced, so Mingyu tries bribery. “How about this, whoever kills her receives a blowjob tonight.” Wonwoo’s face turns red instantly, and he pushes Mingyu away, stuttering.

“Y-yeah, whatever, just don’t do anything dumb, alright.”

“Sure thing.” Mingyu says as he walks off, sticking his tongue out teasingly. “Oh, and loser does dishes for a week.”

The right wing is in a much worse state of disrepair compared to the left, from what Mingyu could see anyway, and he’s beginning to doubt the assassin is here at all. Most rooms don’t have doors, and all it takes is a glance inside for Mingyu to be positive nobody is in there. Finally, he is left with the kitchen.

The steel door is still in place, and it creaks as Mingyu pushes it open. He flinches. If anyone was in that room they’d have heard him for sure. He remains still for at least a minute, and he can’t hear anything but the sound of his heart pounding so he decides it’s safe and slips all the way into the kitchen. To his horror, a single light flickers on just as he does so, before buzzing out.

The scream is building up in his throat before he can even register exactly what is going on, and as he hears rustling from another side of the room it leaves his throat. He can barely hear the muffled “ _ Mingyu! _ ” in the distance over his own heart pounding its way out of his chest. He points his gun aimlessly, before realizing it’s hopeless. He can’t see, let alone hope to hit his target, so he opts for the second best option.  _ Run _ .

But, to his dismay, when he pushes against the door it remains stuck in place, and there is no handle he can feel when he grabs for one blindly.

“The handles broke off long ago.” A voice whispers out from the darkness. “There’s only one other door, at the other side of this room. It leads to the dining hall. That one works, if you can get to it.” There’s something disturbingly kind about the voice, motherly even, but it does nothing to calm Mingyu. If anything, it fills him with even more terror, and he slams against the door once more. Nothing.

The soft sound of footsteps are getting closer, and Mingyu desperately grabs his knife from his belt. It cuts smoothly through the air, cutting nothing, and the footsteps seem to shift to his left, then to his right when he swings in that direction. She’s playing with him, and she’s laughing at her own joke. Then she pushes him, and he stumbles back until he hits a wall.

Suddenly, the lights are on, blinding Mingyu, and it’s quite clear he isn’t in a kitchen. Maybe it was at one point, but all kitchen equipment is long gone and has been replaced by...nothing. The room is totally bare. 

Mingyu can now see his target, as she stands triumphantly in front of what was his only hope of escape.

The worst part about her is that she’s as beautiful as the old hotel they are in now. She could have been a supermodel or actress in her younger days, but something about her now seems just as decayed as this building. She takes a step towards him, eyes disturbingly blank, and pounces. He scrambles out of the way, pointing his gun straight at her. His hands are shaking, but he’s a steady shooter and he’s about to do it, about to shoot her, until a pounding on the door causes him to look up.

Wonwoo is standing in the doorway, and the women glances at him wordlessly. Her eyes are fixated on Mingyu, and before he has time to react, she charges at him, knife aimed at Mingyu. Mingyu manages to evade a head-on stab to the stomach, but he doesn’t move out of the way quite far enough. Following the terrible sound of fabric being ripped apart, the knife slices the side of Mingyu’s abdomen, just under his ribs. The wound doesn’t feel fatally deep, but it’s enough to cause him to cry out in sudden pain, clutching at his side as he falls onto his knees. 

Wonwoo starts to rush over, but he stops halfway across the room. The woman has turned around now, Mingyu’s gun in her hands. How she grabbed it from where it fell to the floor so quickly, Mingyu doesn’t know. What he does know is now the gun is pointed directly at Wonwoo’s chest. 

What comes next happens in slow motion almost. The woman’s finger pulls on the trigger, slowly, and Wonwoo stares at it like a deer caught in headlights. Mingyu knows what Wonwoo is thinking: He can still shoot her, but the bullet will enter his chest just a moment before he enters her skull. It’s a hopeless situation, but one that Mingyu, at least, can survive. Wonwoo glances at Mingyu, eyes apologetic, and he pulls his own trigger.

It’s too late, because Mingyu is already pushing the woman out of the way. Her bullet misses, hitting the wall just next to Wonwoo, and Wonwoo’s bullet misses its target as well.

Instead, it hits Mingyu square in the shoulder, sending him back onto the ground,. Another gunshot is fired, and Mingyu can see it hit the woman in the head from the side of his vision.

It’s over, a job completed. Everything hurts, but at the same time Mingyu feels blissful. Wonwoo is safe, the target is dead. It’s perfect.

_ It’s perfect _ , he tells himself as Wonwoo chokes out something that sounds a bit like a mix between a sob and a scream.  _ It’s fine _ , he tells himself when Wonwoo rushes to his side, picks Mingyu up and tears his jacket off so he can push it against the wound, all while a stream of apologies leave his lips.

“ _ It’s gonna be alright _ .” Mingyu whispers, reaching out to stroke Wonwoo’s arm reassuringly. Wonwoo stares down, eyes welling with tears that have yet to fall. “It’s not like I haven’t been shot before.”

“That was…that was different, Mingyu.” Wonwoo hisses frantically. “That was your arm, this is -- oh god, this is so bad. I’m so sorry, Mingyu. We should’ve just searched together, who cares if it had taken longer. I should’ve-”

“Please shut up.” Mingyu groans, placing his hand over Wonwoo’s mouth. Wonwoo pulls the hand away, but remains quiet. “I’m going to get a headache if you don’t stop with all that self pity.”

Wonwoo stares at Mingyu in disbelief and frustration, mixed with concern and fear an a hundred different emotions that Mingyu can’t possibly be bothered to figure out right now.

“I think a headache should be the least of your concerns at the moment.” Wonwoo retorts, just as Soonyoung and Jeonghan run into the room, guns pointed outward.

“Why’d you- oh, god.” Jeonghan throws his backpack to the floor, pulls out a first aid kit, and he and Soonyoung get to work immediately.

The rest is a blur. While Soonyoung and Jeonghan try to prevent Mingyu from bleeding out before they can get to Jisoo’s clinic, Mingyu begins to slip away.

“Your breathing is getting shallow. I swear to god, Mingyu, if anything happens to you, I’m going to be so pissed off. I’m going to- oh, god, Mingyu. Please.” Wonwoo’s hold on Mingyu’s hand is getting tighter, but Mingyu is slipping further away, the edges of his sight turning dark.  

If Mingyu still had the strength to speak, he’d tell Wonwoo it was worth it, one hundred percent. Because Mingyu would give himself up for Wonwoo a million times over if he could, he’d take anything to not relive the terror he felt when Wonwoo was slipping away.

  
Mingyu would, without hesitation, give up his life for Wonwoo, and that’s his third fault.


	2. epilogue .

Mingyu doesn’t die for Wonwoo, because Wonwoo doesn’t let him.

Exactly how he survived that day is unsure to Mingyu, at least for now. What he does know is that hours, days, maybe even weeks later, he is slowly blinking awake. His limbs feel heavy and weak at his sides, and his mouth is dry, so he croaks out for water. To his relief, Seungcheol’s voice, cursing, is followed by the sound of a chair being pushed back. 

Everything is a bit blurry, but he can just make out the figure of Seungcheol above him. The door opens, and he can hear Jisoo rush inside with a glass of water. As he props Mingyu up a bit higher in his bed, he presses a cold glass against his lips and urges Mingyu to drink. Mingyu obeys enthusiastically, but now he’s somewhat more conscious, there’s a question nagging at the back of his mind.

“Where’s Wonwoo?” His voice sounds a lot more cracked than he’d like it to, but it must still be understandable, because Seungcheol smiles and pats his uninjured shoulder.

“He was waiting here all week, we just sent him home an hour ago so he could shower.” Seungcheol laughs, “He’s gonna be real pissed to know he wasn’t here when you woke up- Oh. Speak of the devil.”

As if he was summoned, Wonwoo bursts through the door. As soon as his eyes land on Mingyu he freezes, eyes darting from him to Seungcheol to Jisoo. Jisoo stands up from where he’s crouched next to Mingyu’s bed and walks towards the door, nudging Seungcheol to follow him. He whispers something to Wonwoo before leaving, and then it’s just the two of them together in the room.

“Hey.” Mingyu says with a drowsy smile, his voice still scratchy. Wonwoo takes one hesitant step towards him, followed by another, and then he’s practically launching himself onto Mingyu. He buries his face deep into the crook of his neck, careful not to touch the shoulder on the opposite side. Mingyu places a gentle hand on Wonwoo’s shaking back, stroking him soothingly. Muffled apologies are sobbed into the pillow behind them, and Mingyu shakes his head.

“If you apologize one more time, I won’t be fulfilling my end of our deal once we get home.” Mingyu deadpans, grinning when Wonwoo lifts his head up, eyes confused for a moment. When the realization finally hits, he squints his eyes and slaps Mingyu’s arm.

“Are you really thinking about that of all things right now.” When Mingyu shrugs, Wonwoo playfully hits him again. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I keep promises.”

A frown returns to Wonwoo’s face. “Clearly not. You also said you wouldn’t do anything dumb.” He sounds miserable, but then he looks as if he remembered something, and an almost peaceful smile graces his face. “Oh, uh, I should tell you. I asked Seungcheol if we could switch departments.” 

“What?” Mingyu stares in disbelief, but the announcement doesn’t upset him as much as he expected. In fact, he doesn’t upset him at all.

“You can go back if you want, I guess. But I can’t do it anymore, we just can’t work together in those situations.” His voice is laced with guilt, and he still looks down when Mingyu grabs his hand.

“I think it’s a great idea.” Wonwoo’s head shoots up.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t really care too much about the details right now, though.” Mingyu pushes Wonwoo’s head down against his chest. “Right now, you should sleep. You look like death personified.” 

It doesn’t take long for Wonwoo to do just that, his mind now finally at peace knowing Mingyu is alright. Mingyu remains alright, is doing great even, when he’s sent back home a couple weeks later, and when he finally returns to work with Wonwoo as a trainer for new recruits. His arm never goes completely back to normal, but Mingyu learns to work with it just fine.

Truthfully, Mingyu doesn’t see his faults as true faults. He’ll never admit to making mistakes when it came to his and Wonwoo’s safety, because quite frankly he did not believe he’s ever made any.

 

Trusting Wonwoo wasn’t a fault. Neither was loving him, nor putting his own life on the line to protect Wonwoo, because he’d do it again. He’d do it a million times over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit
> 
> it's been a really long time since i've posted anything new, and it really feels good to be doing it again.
> 
> special thanks to my beta, katie, for fixing this up for me. ily <3
> 
> (psa: don't be like these two. i'm serious, don't. they're super reckless and irresponsible and that is not a good thing!)
> 
> kudos and comments are very highly appreciated, as always! xo


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